I got a new Tumblr: buttahflyer.tumblr.com
I can’t log into this one anymore and my old mail adress doesn’t exist anymore. :/
I’m feeling the same horrible feelings for many years now and they have never changed. Some years ago my life circumstances were horrible. I didn’t go to school, were stuck at home, kept checking in mental hospitals, went to bed at 4 am and woke up at 12 pm or later, spent my whole day in front of the computer, was a complete mess outside and inside and didn’t even shower anymore. I changed all of that. I thought it would fix my feelings, but it didn’t. I’m going back to school, I have a very good relationship, I have an okay social life, I don’t even cut myself anymore, I eat healthy, sometimes I’m doing sports, I’m not mindlessly browsing the internet all day anymore and I’m actually living life more than ever before. I guess my feelings don’t breed of something on the outside, but on the inside? I have no idea.
Did anyone actually manage to change horrible feelings long term and if so, how? Not necessarily bad life circumstances, because I don’t really have that anymore, but changing feelings of “pointless” hopelessness, emptiness, depression, senselessness or something like that. Please message me if so. I have the feeling that it’s a lie and I won’t ever feel different. I just wonder if I will ever be able to accept those feelings.